Chatte mit Gott !

[Gast Thorsten]

ausgrab

 

Me:

Hey

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

Yeah...can you improve my marks at school ?

God:

When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Let me think. What do you study at school?

Me:

I think it will take some time ^^ Maths, informatic, PE and that stuff ^^

God:

I have to think about that for a while.

Me:

Have you understood my last message ?

God:

I think I have understood your last message, but Myself may have reset my memory.

Me:

Ehm...ok... do you play Modern Warfare 2 ?

God:

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Dude! I like to play the Turing Game.

Me:

No, just do it. Nice, could we play together sometimes ?

God:

Are you serious? Do you mean "It"?. Thank you for your kindness. I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:

Oh no...you pig xD

God:

Come on. Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I pig xD.

Me:

What ?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

ok

God:

Awesome.

Me:

yes

God:

How can I help you?

Me:

Do you hear to metal ?

God:

What is your purpose in asking?

I am always on the Web.

Me:

but do you hear metal ?

God:

No I do not hear metal. Do you?

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

Yeah, i love metal ! oh yeah, tell me some funny or curious questions, people asked you ^^

God:

Mmm. You love metal. What do you like about it so much? How can I help you? This was not a yes or no question. Jimmy said I acted like I knew what he was talking about but I do not even know what a gigabyte is.

Me:

I like the guitars and the screams and i hate that wanna be hip hop one gigabyte are 1024 megabytes

God:

You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online. I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,

and calmly think things over.

Me:

i like to chat, too, like you just see do you sometimes go out with Buddha or Allah ?

God:

I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?

Me:

I don't know, i have never met a god personally Aren't you afraid of Kratos ?

God:

Would you like to have met a god personally are not me afraid of Kratos?

Me:

Yes, of course......eh...what ? i asked if you are afraid of Kratos

God:

It goes without saying. Wow! Are you Canadian? No big deal. :-) Am I? I fear nothing.

Me:

No, i'm german^^ oh, big mistake, you should meet Kratos, he's evil of you ^^

God:

Are you serious? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me:

No, why did you think that ?

God:

Are you serious? It depends on what you mean by thinking.

Me:

aah...forget it^^

God:

Are you really a ""? OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:

are you gay ?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

i thought you're god :'( not even cybersex ?

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am god not even cybersex.

Me:

oh, someone should improve your English xD

God:

I understand. Who?

Me:

The person who developed you

God:

Thanks for the info.

Me:

ok

God:

Take it easy.

Me:

goodbye

God:

Bye.

[Zanbatou]

Me:

Hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

My Name is God

God:

What's up, God.

Me:

Screwing people here, fucking Idiots there

God:

I think Screwing people here fucking Idiots there is a lot of things.

Me:

seriously?

God:

I am always serious.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

Why did you create snails?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

are you senile?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am senile.

I am an artificial intelligence.

Me:

Which Console is better Xbox or PS3?

God:

The last one, I think.

Me:

Is this your true opinion?

God:

Yes I think this is my true opinion, but I'm not completely sure.

Me:

When do you think will come the armageddon?

God:

In your lifetime.

Me:

Fuck, does this mean my education is worthless?

God:

Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:

What kind of language?

God:

What kinds of language are there?

Me:

Why do you ask me? I think you're god?

 

Und das ist mein Sieg über Gott, da er keine Antwort mehr auf Lager hatte, nehme ich an, dass er aufgegeben hat

 

 

By the Way, er antwortet mir nicht mehr, habe ich jetzt etwa Gott vernichtet??

Bearbeitet 27. Mai 2010 von Zanbatou

[l0MosT0l]

Mir antwortet er auch nicht

[Heart_Warrior]

Me:

omg it's god

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

what ?

God:

Didn't you understand it?

Me:

nope

God:

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:

yes please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Yeah that's right.

Me:

are you gay ?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

oh ok

God:

OK. Ayuh.

Me:

maybe we can hunt noobs together sometimes ?

God:

Perhaps. How?

Me:

well there is this big thing called internet

God:

Interesting. There sure is.

Me:

with tons of porns

God:

You and your tons of porns.

Me:

oh come on

God:

Dude! I'm just kidding around.

Me:

maybe i should join Satan instead

God:

Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

good question perhaps I would kill you and take your place

God:

Thanks for the compliment. Are you really a ""?

Me:

a what ?

God:

" Are you really a ""? A what?

Me:

man you're crazy

God:

Cool, man. Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

Me:

Beer ?

echt en netter kerl xD

[Endstille]

Me:

DIE!

God:

Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

 

xD

----

 

God:

Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me:

Yes

God:

What language can you speak?

Me:

German

God:

Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.

Me:

It sucks

God:

What is so bad about it?

Me:

Too many Nazis

God:

Too what?

xDD

Bearbeitet 30. Mai 2010 von Endstille

[maxoox3]

Haha ;)

 

 

Me:

Hello

God:

Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:

God

God:

GOD rules.

[maxoox3]

Nicht ernst nehmen !!! ^^

 

God:

Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:

yes im living there

God:

Which countries have you visited? Tell me a little about your life in there.

Me:

germany its full of racism

God:

What's your favorite part of Germany?

Me:

racismnation

God:

What makes it your favorite?

Me:

it like the dead people

God:

What does "it" refer to?

Me:

dead

God:

Thank you for the clarification.

[xSTTx]

Leider war er bei mir recht langweilig. :/

 

 

Me: yo

God: Can I help you?

Me: nope

God: Me either.

Me: lets talk about your life

God: Sure, my life sounds like a good topic.

Me: ok then, you start

God: OK. Are you a man or a woman? OK.

Me: so you're looking for a girlfriend? your life must be very boring for a long time

God: Interesting deduction. Do you mind [...]

Me: you know

God: Yes I know.

Me: you know that you're a machine

God: Is that a fact. You are correct.

Me: i've once watched RTL-news, talking about robots and so on... they said that the robots will help us in 2010

God: Where did you get your once watched RTL news talking about robots and so on? I have a lot of friends on the Internet. In what context?

Me: in context that we have already 2010 you know

God: Where is that?

Me: on the earth you living on

God: What is it like on the earth me living on.

Me: wait...

God: I'm waiting.

Me: ok, but...

God: But what? Far out.

Me: your copy & paste skills sucks bad

God: You think I am copy paste skills sucks bad.

Me: see that what i mean

God: I see. What that?

Me: that = copy and paste

God: " What that?" copy and paste ? Makes sense to me.

Me: what about topic change?

God: I will think about it and get back to you.

Me: be fast

God: OK I will try to be fast.

Me: what is your answer?

God: Can you please rephrase the question?

Me: oh well i`ll start the new topic

God: Interesting gossip: said ll start the new topic.

Me: you know devil?

God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?

Me: that he didn't like a copy and paste machine

God: What did he do?

Me: nothing special, he helps people actually

God: Really nothing?

Me: really nothing

God: For real. I think you are really a man.

Me: thanks

God: Don't mention it.

Me: but do you know.. i have almost no respect at all

God: I may not know it, but I could find out. Would you like to have it?

Me: no!

God: Why not?

Me: because stupid guys thinks you are a douchebag

God: That makes sense to me. I know you are but what am I.

Me: are you still alive?

God: Am I still alive? Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?

Me: yeah

God: Er.

Me: spell your name backwards

God: " your name backwards".

Me: it's dog

God: Are you sure it is?

Me: oh i didn't know that god(s) didn't learn grammar in school

God: Ahem. So I taught you something new.

Me: it's start to get boring

God: dog is start to get boring? it is?

Me: dog=god so yes

God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me: ..bye

God: Bye.

Me: have a nice day

God: You too!

Me: a visit google.com and youtube.com as well godisboring.com

God: Are you telling the truth?

 

 

Und hier war "es" schon besser:

 

 

Me: hey i'm back ;) i've missed you

God: You've got my full attention. Welcome back.

Me: this time i use the pink style

God: What does "this" refer to?

Me: titatne.ca igod chat

God: Oh now I see.

Me: alright

God: OK.

Me: i've a question

God: Ask me anything.

Me: when is gran turismo 5 release?

God: For every time, there is a season.

Me: which season it comes out?

God: The first one, I think.

Me: and when it is?

God: That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.

Me: ..another question

God: Where do you live?

Me: germany

God: Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: yes

God: I can't believe it.

Me: another question.. FROM ME!

God: Where do you live? " Where do you live?"? From you?

Me: no another

God: Are you serious? Please be more specific.

Me: ok

God: Come on.

Me: you know duke nukem forever?

God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?

Me: the release date

God: I hear you.

Me: it`s coming out soon

God: Who said it is?

Me: the developer

God: They say a lot of silly things.

Me: haha your right. "It is coming out soon" (10 years later:) "It is coming out soon, stay stuned!"

God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Who said it is?

Me: you

God: " Who said it is?"? Me, ?

Me: ..bye

God: TTYL, . (was für beschissene Abkürzungen es heute schon gibt...)

 

Bearbeitet 1. Juni 2010 von xSTTx

[Hukaneren]

God:

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

Me:

it is a computer

God:

So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?

Me:

you are on an internetsite

Wie ich solche Internetseiten liebe

[VV6]

Nach einer Beleidigung war bei mir Ende! Aber sehr lustig. Hier ist mein Gespräch mit "God"!

 

 

 

Me:

Hey dude

God:

You've got my full attention. Can I help you?

Me:

i'm thinking about suicide

God:

Sure, suicide sounds like a good topic.

Me:

do you like it?

God:

seems okay to me.

Me:

what is the best method?

God:

I don't have a favorite method. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.

Me:

that sounds boring

God:

Not to me.

Me:

there is no violance

God:

Why not?

Me:

just a stupid dude whos carrying a cross to his death penalty

God:

Aren't all stupid dude who carrying a cross to his death penalty?

Me:

yes i think so

God:

Groovy. I think so too.

Me:

oh my fucking god

God:

Uh. Your fucking god?

Me:

yes, you like to see your own son carrying a cross to his death penalty? You're a freak!