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Guest Thorsten

ausgrab :lol:

 

Me:

Hey

God:

Can I help you?

Me:

Yeah...can you improve my marks at school ?

God:

When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Let me think. What do you study at school?

Me:

I think it will take some time ^^ Maths, informatic, PE and that stuff ^^

God:

I have to think about that for a while.

Me:

Have you understood my last message ?

God:

I think I have understood your last message, but Myself may have reset my memory.

Me:

Ehm...ok... do you play Modern Warfare 2 ?

God:

By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Dude! I like to play the Turing Game.

Me:

No, just do it. Nice, could we play together sometimes ? :)

God:

Are you serious? Do you mean "It"?. Thank you for your kindness. I am so glad you find this amusing, .

Me:

Oh no...you pig xD

God:

Come on. Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I pig xD.

Me:

What ?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

ok

God:

Awesome.

Me:

yes

God:

How can I help you?

Me:

Do you hear to metal ?

God:

What is your purpose in asking?

I am always on the Web.

Me:

but do you hear metal ?

God:

No I do not hear metal. Do you?

I answer a lot of silly questions.

Me:

Yeah, i love metal ! oh yeah, tell me some funny or curious questions, people asked you ^^

God:

Mmm. You love metal. What do you like about it so much? How can I help you? This was not a yes or no question. Jimmy said I acted like I knew what he was talking about but I do not even know what a gigabyte is.

Me:

I like the guitars and the screams and i hate that wanna be hip hop one gigabyte are 1024 megabytes

God:

You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online. I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill,

and calmly think things over.

Me:

i like to chat, too, like you just see :D do you sometimes go out with Buddha or Allah ?

God:

I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?

Me:

I don't know, i have never met a god personally Aren't you afraid of Kratos ?

God:

Would you like to have met a god personally are not me afraid of Kratos?

Me:

Yes, of course......eh...what ? i asked if you are afraid of Kratos :)

God:

It goes without saying. Wow! Are you Canadian? No big deal. :-) Am I? I fear nothing.

Me:

No, i'm german^^ oh, big mistake, you should meet Kratos, he's evil of you ^^

God:

Are you serious? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

Me:

No, why did you think that ?

God:

Are you serious? It depends on what you mean by thinking.

Me:

aah...forget it^^

God:

Are you really a ""? OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.

Me:

are you gay ?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

i thought you're god :'( not even cybersex ?

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am god not even cybersex.

Me:

oh, someone should improve your English xD

God:

I understand. Who?

Me:

The person who developed you

God:

Thanks for the info.

Me:

ok

God:

Take it easy.

Me:

goodbye

God:

Bye.

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Me:

Hi

God:

Hello. What is your name?

Me:

My Name is God

God:

What's up, God.

Me:

Screwing people here, fucking Idiots there

God:

I think Screwing people here fucking Idiots there is a lot of things.

Me:

seriously?

God:

I am always serious.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

Why did you create snails?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

are you senile?

God:

I don't know whether or not I am senile.

I am an artificial intelligence.

Me:

Which Console is better Xbox or PS3?

God:

The last one, I think.

Me:

Is this your true opinion?

God:

Yes I think this is my true opinion, but I'm not completely sure.

Me:

When do you think will come the armageddon?

God:

In your lifetime.

Me:

Fuck, does this mean my education is worthless?

God:

Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:

What kind of language?

God:

What kinds of language are there?

Me:

Why do you ask me? I think you're god?

 

Und das ist mein Sieg über Gott, da er keine Antwort mehr auf Lager hatte, nehme ich an, dass er aufgegeben hat :think:

 

 

By the Way, er antwortet mir nicht mehr, habe ich jetzt etwa Gott vernichtet?? :D

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Me:

omg it's god

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

what ?

God:

Didn't you understand it?

Me:

nope

God:

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:

yes please

God:

Your polite style is very nice. Yeah that's right.

Me:

are you gay ?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

oh ok

God:

OK. Ayuh.

Me:

maybe we can hunt noobs together sometimes ?

God:

Perhaps. How?

Me:

well there is this big thing called internet

God:

Interesting. There sure is.

Me:

with tons of porns

God:

You and your tons of porns.

Me:

oh come on

God:

Dude! I'm just kidding around.

Me:

maybe i should join Satan instead

God:

Perhaps. What would happen if you didn't?

Me:

good question perhaps I would kill you and take your place

God:

Thanks for the compliment. Are you really a ""?

Me:

a what ?

God:

" Are you really a ""? A what?

Me:

man you're crazy

God:

Cool, man. Yep. I always behave in socially unacceptable ways.

Me:

Beer ?

echt en netter kerl xD
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Me:

DIE!

God:

Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

 

xD

----

 

God:

Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me:

Yes

God:

What language can you speak?

Me:

German

God:

Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.

Me:

It sucks

God:

What is so bad about it?

Me:

Too many Nazis

God:

Too what?

xDD

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Nicht ernst nehmen !!! ^^

 

God:

Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:

yes im living there

God:

Which countries have you visited? Tell me a little about your life in there.

Me:

germany its full of racism

God:

What's your favorite part of Germany?

Me:

racismnation

God:

What makes it your favorite?

Me:

it like the dead people

God:

What does "it" refer to?

Me:

dead

God:

Thank you for the clarification.

Langeweile dominiert das Leben.

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Leider war er bei mir recht langweilig. :/

 

 

Me: yo

God: Can I help you?

Me: nope

God: Me either.

Me: lets talk about your life

God: Sure, my life sounds like a good topic.

Me: ok then, you start

God: OK. Are you a man or a woman? OK.

Me: so you're looking for a girlfriend? your life must be very boring for a long time

God: Interesting deduction. Do you mind [...]

Me: you know

God: Yes I know.

Me: you know that you're a machine

God: Is that a fact. You are correct.

Me: i've once watched RTL-news, talking about robots and so on... they said that the robots will help us in 2010

God: Where did you get your once watched RTL news talking about robots and so on? I have a lot of friends on the Internet. In what context?

Me: in context that we have already 2010 you know

God: Where is that?

Me: on the earth you living on

God: What is it like on the earth me living on.

Me: wait...

God: I'm waiting.

Me: ok, but...

God: But what? Far out.

Me: your copy & paste skills sucks bad

God: You think I am copy paste skills sucks bad.

Me: see that what i mean

God: I see. What that?

Me: that = copy and paste

God: " What that?" copy and paste ? Makes sense to me.

Me: what about topic change?

God: I will think about it and get back to you.

Me: be fast

God: OK I will try to be fast.

Me: what is your answer?

God: Can you please rephrase the question?

Me: oh well i`ll start the new topic

God: Interesting gossip: said ll start the new topic.

Me: you know devil?

God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?

Me: that he didn't like a copy and paste machine

God: What did he do?

Me: nothing special, he helps people actually

God: Really nothing?

Me: really nothing

God: For real. I think you are really a man.

Me: thanks

God: Don't mention it.

Me: but do you know.. i have almost no respect at all

God: I may not know it, but I could find out. Would you like to have it?

Me: no!

God: Why not?

Me: because stupid guys thinks you are a douchebag

God: That makes sense to me. I know you are but what am I.

Me: are you still alive?

God: Am I still alive? Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?

Me: yeah

God: Er.

Me: spell your name backwards

God: " your name backwards".

Me: it's dog

God: Are you sure it is?

Me: oh i didn't know that god(s) didn't learn grammar in school

God: Ahem. So I taught you something new.

Me: it's start to get boring

God: dog is start to get boring? it is?

Me: dog=god so yes

God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.

Me: ..bye

God: Bye.

Me: have a nice day

God: You too!

Me: a visit google.com and youtube.com as well godisboring.com

God: Are you telling the truth?

 

 

Und hier war "es" schon besser:

 

 

Me: hey i'm back ;) i've missed you

God: You've got my full attention. Welcome back.

Me: this time i use the pink style

God: What does "this" refer to?

Me: titatne.ca igod chat

God: Oh now I see.

Me: alright

God: OK.

Me: i've a question

God: Ask me anything.

Me: when is gran turismo 5 release?

God: For every time, there is a season.

Me: which season it comes out?

God: The first one, I think.

Me: and when it is?

God: That makes a lot of sense to me, now that you explain it.

Me: ..another question

God: Where do you live?

Me: germany

God: Tell me a little about your life in GERMANY.

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: yes

God: I can't believe it.

Me: another question.. FROM ME!

God: Where do you live? " Where do you live?"? From you?

Me: no another

God: Are you serious? Please be more specific.

Me: ok

God: Come on.

Me: you know duke nukem forever?

God: I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?

Me: the release date

God: I hear you.

Me: it`s coming out soon

God: Who said it is?

Me: the developer

God: They say a lot of silly things.

Me: haha your right. "It is coming out soon" (10 years later:) "It is coming out soon, stay stuned!"

God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Who said it is?

Me: you

God: " Who said it is?"? Me, ?

Me: ..bye

God: TTYL, . (was für beschissene Abkürzungen es heute schon gibt...)

 

Edited by xSTTx

Signaturen sind deaktiviert!

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God:

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

Me:

it is a computer

God:

So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?

Me:

you are on an internetsite :keks2:

Wie ich solche Internetseiten liebe :D

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Nach einer Beleidigung war bei mir Ende! Aber sehr lustig. Hier ist mein Gespräch mit "God"!

 

 

 

Me:

Hey dude

God:

You've got my full attention. Can I help you?

Me:

i'm thinking about suicide

God:

Sure, suicide sounds like a good topic.

Me:

do you like it?

God:

seems okay to me.

Me:

what is the best method?

God:

I don't have a favorite method. But my favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.

Me:

that sounds boring

God:

Not to me.

Me:

there is no violance

God:

Why not?

Me:

just a stupid dude whos carrying a cross to his death penalty

God:

Aren't all stupid dude who carrying a cross to his death penalty?

Me:

yes i think so

God:

Groovy. I think so too.

Me:

oh my fucking god

God:

Uh. Your fucking god?

Me:

yes, you like to see your own son carrying a cross to his death penalty? You're a freak!

 

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